alrights:

alrights:

alrights:

help im broke i spent all my money on coffee

jk i have 5 more dollars just enough for another coffee

help im broke i spent all my money on coffee

snapchatting:

i was confident for like 2 minutes one time

sixsteen:

i ship me and money

dont-fuckingpanic:

text-pistol:

wearing-sammy-to-the-prom:

princeharrehs:

princeharrehs:

omfg i just ordered pizza and as i was about to hang up i said love you out of habit and the guy said it back and after a whole minute of dead silence he just tells me that he hopes that i’m not expecting a discount on the pizza just cause we confessed our undying love for each other! oMFG!

guys! he sent me a note on one of the napkins and i just

I ship it

I ship it so hard

now kiss

homosexaul:

being ugly on the internet is nice because you know you’ve earned all your followers instead of getting them b/c youre hot 

thatpsychowriter:

lolahatter0912:

thatpsychowriter:

I don’t have ‘friends’.

I have followers.

You have an audience!

nosdrinker:

i don’t know what these are but i love them

candy-red-dani:

so I set up my headband for a date with a lawn gnome named Gilbert

suckatcod:

Get away from me you little fuck

watswitdamonkey:

rescuepepperpotts:

owlcitymordred:

stagdoeandfawn:

catully:

brigwife:

latitudeoctopus:

brigwife:

wait you mean you don’t use the word ‘fortnight’ in america???

Wait what? Then what do they use?

they don’t have a word

what do you mean they don’t have a word what kind of uncivilised people are they??

the fuck is a fortnight

It’s a word for ‘two weeks’

fortnight is a word used in america

by people who know about it from reading books not from America

• ‎1950's lyrics: Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled. For, my darling, I love you, and I always will.
• 1960's lyrics: When the girl in your arms is the girl in your heart, then you've got everything.
• 1970's lyrics: I hope you don't mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you're in the world.
• 2012 lyrics: Almost drowned in her pussy so I swam to her butt.

elkane:

Jack Dawson… Penniless artist who wins a ticket onto Titanic in 1912, attends a first class dinner, develops a taste for the finer things in life, pockets the Heart of the Ocean, survives the sinking, pawns the diamond, spends the following ten years building his wealth and in 1922 moves to West Egg as Jay Gatsby… Millionaire with a shady past and fear of swimming pools.